HeatherD’s 115 photos

Accidentally stumbling across a supportive lifeline to my dear friend with cancer.

My friend HeatherD just died recently.

I’ve known her for something like thirty-five years, we were the same age (77), and if you had been asked to pick someone from about ten people who would die soon of a fatal disease, you would never have picked her. She lived an active happy life, still worked part time as an Occupational Therapist, was very involved with her children and grandchildren, volunteered with a charity, and sang in many different choirs.

Heather had just come back in March 2025 from a walking holiday in Madeira and went to her GP with a minor complaint. The GP sent her immediately to hospital where she was told that she had pancreatic cancer that had already spread to her liver. She was given nine months to live.

She and I had a long-standing agreement to go to the Physic Garden Open Day on the 3rd of May. Knowing how much she would have enjoyed it I kept the ticket open for her, but on the morning of the day she telephoned me to say that she was not physically up for it. I was not surprised and said that I would sent her photographs of the event.

It was a lovely spring day and I took lots of photos. I sent them to her, one a day, first thing in the morning. When they ran out I continued to send her random photos that I had taken. It became a game –she would try to guess the location or context.

This did four things:

1. It told her that I was thinking of her
2. It told her that I was up and she could contact me should she wanted to. This created a relaxed dialogue between us
3. It made me feel as though I was doing something to help
4. The speed of her responses made me aware of the progress of her disease without me having to ask intrusive questions, which she was probable getting enough of from other people – though when I was able to meet up with her, we discussed everything

I sent a photo every day until the 26th of August when I knew that she was entering the final stage of her journey. She died peacefully with her family around her on the 3rd of September. There were 115 Photographs altogether. At her funeral her daughter thanked me and said how much her mother enjoyed receiving and engaging with them.

Malcolm Medley